Is Your Life – Upside Down?
Started to pour some cereal into a bowl, and realized that I had opened the box up on the wrong end. Too late. There it was right in front of me…. Life – upside down.
Made me think of a story a minister shared last Sunday. His sermon was about marriage. He talked about a couple that was married for many years – many (supposedly) happy years. One day out of the blue, one of them admitted that he had “fallen out of love” and wanted a divorce. A life…turned upside down without any warning. How does that happen?
After being married for almost 30 years (GASP!), I never dreamed that I would get anything out of a sermon about marriage. I’ve never been interested in marriage seminars or retreats, because….well, I’ve never thought that our marriage needed it. I mean, why try to fix something that isn’t broken, right?
Same with wellness checkups. I used to think they were SUCH a waste of time and money, but now I’m beginning to see their importance – even if you feel healthy. Prevention is everything.
So now I’m thinking….Why should it be any different with marriage?
Back to the sermon. Although we both laughed at some of the things mentioned that individuals tend to do WRONG, I began to realize that he was giving examples of things that “I” do – things that could possibly damage my relationship, or worse yet – crush my husband’s spirit. All of a sudden, it wasn’t funny anymore. I thought “Oh My Gosh! He’s talking about ME.”
This is one example that he gave that stepped on my toes so hard, I thought Mark was going to have to carry me out of the church! He said that “If you are on your phone or computer when your spouse is trying to communicate with you, you need to stop – now.” Ouch.
The majority of the sermon was teaching us healthy ways to handle conflict and how important it was NOT to avoid it. In his words: “You can’t avoid conflict because marriage is an unconditional commitment to an imperfect person.” – Timothy Brock. So true.
I admit that I hate conflict, and I have always done everything possible to avoid it. Sometimes that can be a bad thing, especially when you aren’t totally honest about your feelings with someone, like that couple mentioned above. He obviously was unhappy for many years, but neglected to say a word – either to protect her or perhaps he just wanted to avoid conflict.
Funny thing is that the next point made was to always be truthful about your feelings; don’t lie to protect your loved one. Tell the truth. Ouch.
As I took notes, I realized that NONE of this information will make a difference if I/we aren’t willing to take the time to communicate. Texting is a great thing, but nothing can replace talking to someone – face-to-face. If you have your nose glued to your computer or phone (or whatever else it is that you’re SO obsessed with), all the information in the world won’t help you or your marriage.
I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be a sad illustration for someone to use one day about a good marriage that ‘unexpectedly’ turned south. Doesn’t matter if you’ve only been married for 2 years or 50, what are you willing to do to prevent that from happening?
In case you have forgotten….
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.”