Control

I’ve been thinking about all the hot topics in our country. Know what I think? I think it’s all about control. No one wants to lose it. No one wants someone else telling them how to live their life and that they can’t do this, buy this, or live this way. Naturally, morals and faith come into the picture when we take a stand, but what screams out is control.

Just read the following story and see what your conclusion is…

My dad died in 2004. It was difficult for many reasons. My adult, mentally challenged brother still lived with him prior to this and we needed to figure out where he was going to live. None of that was discussed, ever. My dad had dementia; therefore, it was impossible to find out what he wanted for my brother.

Thankfully, after doing a lot of research and making a lot of calls, we were able to get my brother in a program that provided services for adults with special needs. It was very beneficial for his well-being. Having a social worker take care of his bills was the best thing for him. She gave him an allowance each week so that he wouldn’t spend all of his money at one time. THIS way, I knew all his bills would be paid — and paid on time. THIS way, I could be his sister and not someone who became his caretaker. Because of his strong personality, this was for the best for both of us.

Well, he didn’t like the fact that someone else had control of his money — even though it was the best thing for him. He didn’t like being told “no” when he asked for more, so he signed himself out of the program.

Needless to say, that was the worst decision he could’ve possibly made. In his eyes, however, life was good again because he had the freedom to make his own decisions about what happened with his money. He could take off for Florida if he chose to do so. He could go out to eat every day if he wanted. The bad thing was, he quickly ran out of money. His bills piled up and his electricity was almost shut off several times. The car he purchased on his own was a lemon and he had to have it towed. It couldn’t be repaired so he returned it to the small business dealership where he purchased it. Oh, and he put a post-it note on the windshield with this message: “I don’t want this car anymore. It’s a lemon.” He has told so many lies over the years — I’m not even sure what the truth is anymore.

{Side note: If you’re wondering why I, his sister, didn’t become his payee and take care of his bills, I did. I tried. However, he called the sheriff’s department in the county I lived in to report that I was “keeping his money from him.” This, of course, wasn’t true. He was willing to do whatever it took to get what he wanted}

My brother wanted complete control over his life. Well, he has that now– but it has only created one problem after another. Because of his situations, I have received call after call — wanting me to fix it – NOW! I could write a book on that!

You might be thinking…but this case is unique because he’s mentally challenged. Is it? Isn’t it a prime example of how many others are fighting for their right to having control over their life?

Sometimes other people do know what’s best for you — even when what’s best isn’t convenient for you or exactly the way you want it.

Just my thoughts…

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