My First Love

Many years ago, when I was in elementary school, I noticed someone was interested in me. I know this sounds young, but it’s true. He didn’t tell me directly, however, he sent a message of interest through other people. He became my secret close friend. He was someone I could pour my heart into without worrying that he would tell anyone else. My parents were always fighting, and my mother was always drinking. My mom left to be with another man. My life was torn apart. He became my safe place where I could receive comfort.

When I entered the 7th grade, I became interested in other guys. Mainly one. He was so different than the other guys. He invited me to his church youth group and always talked to me about God, Jesus, and the encouraging words that were found in his Bible. He was my first crush, but we soon learned that we could only be friends. And so here we are, 40 some years later — still friends.

I dated several guys throughout high school. However, I only became ‘serious’ with two of them. Those relationships were your typical teen relationships that involved a rollercoaster ride of ups and downs. With one, I really thought I was in love. How I felt when I was with him told me so. However, when I left for college, I knew that my heart was lying and it simply wasn’t true. He was a wonderful person, he just wasn’t the one.

When I started college, things felt different. There I was, away from my friends, the house that I had lived in since day 1– away from everything that gave me comfort or security. I knew there was something better than finding another relationship with a guy. There’s more to life than that. That’s when I was reunited with my first love — the one who pursued me all those years ago. The one I could truly trust, yet I never pursued him. The thing is, he never gave up on me. He always sent little messages of love, wisdom, and caution through other people. True love. Jesus.

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