Check It Out

How do you handle people who are rude?

I grocery shopped on a Saturday morning. My first mistake.

The cashier wasn’t finished scanning my groceries when the employee who was bagging my items said, “You can go ahead and put your card in the chip reader.” I asked, “Before she’s finished scanning my items?”

“Yes, it doesn’t matter.”

So, I reluctantly put my card in. I’ve never had anyone suggest that I do that, and I really didn’t see the purpose in doing so. My guess was she was in a hurry. (Or is this the way everyone else does it and I’ve been clueless?)

The store was busy, and it was noisy. As I watched her scan the final items and waited to see  the total, the employee who was bagging groceries slapped her hand on the equipment that was holding my card and just looked at it. Not at me – at the card holder. Apparently it was notifying me that I could take my card out, but because of the noise – I didn’t hear it.

At this point, I’m pretty sure I was irritating her as much as she was irritating me.

Publix employees are always good about asking if you want help out to your car. The bagger did ask me, which I’m sure was routine. I was quick to say, “No, I’m good.” I was afraid she would suggest I pop my trunk open  from inside the store! Lol.

This wasn’t the worst thing I’ve ever experienced, more like strange.

Have you ever had anything similar happen and you feel like you should say something so that you don’t appear to be….stupid? Or do you suck it up so that you can get out of town, Charlie Brown?

Well, I got out of town – all the way down to Starbucks. Amazing what a Vanilla Chai Latte can do for you.

 

 

 

Just My View

If you live in America and had access to a tv yesterday, then you at least caught a glimpse of the televised hearing that took place involving Brett Kavanaugh and his accuser, Christine Blasey Ford.

Never. in. my. life. have I cared about what’s happening in our nation as much as I do now. I watched the hearing, from beginning to end. If you did, also, then you know how mentally and emotionally exhausting it was (for them and the viewer) as we listened to Christine Blasey Ford share the details that she remembered.  I have read both positive and negative comments about her coming forward – especially her timing Positive: Her bravery inspired many other victims to either seek help or tell their story. Negative: It’s a lie. Most comments have suggested that maybe she did suffer a tragic experience, but they didn’t believe there was evidence that her attacker was Kavanaugh.

Although Kavanaugh’s opening statement brought about some criticism, I don’t blame him for being angry or emotional – especially if he is innocent. I’m not saying that I believe he is innocent. Truly, only he and God knows that answer. The positive: His journal/calendar provided a lot of details about that time period. Negative: He seemed hesitant when asked if he had ever drank too much to  the point where he wouldn’t remember.

My biggest concern in all of this is that two people had to tell very personal details about their life on national television when it wasn’t necessary. Both families are going through hell. Someone expressed on tv yesterday that the only way to get to the truth was by having a FBI investigation, then why didn’t they ask for it when they first heard about the allegations against Kavanaugh?

Last, I am so thankful that all of my mistakes that I have made – 30 years ago or even today, aren’t put on national tv or social media for everyone to pick apart, argue about, and make judgement.

For all those times I wished I could become someone famous, today – I’m beyond thankful I’m just little ol’ me.

But even so, the reality is – little ol’ me will someday have to face judgment. And so will you. No one will escape it. That’s why it is so urgent that believers share with others that there is a way to be forgiven. We are all sinners. Regardless of what mistakes you’ve made, you can still spend everlasting life with Jesus. Don’t wait…

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9

“Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait until the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart. At that time each will receive their praise from God.” 1 Corinthians 4:5

“For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each of us may receive what is due us for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad.” 2 Corinithians 5:10

 

 

 

Six Tips for that Perfect Marriage

 

If you’re single or have been married for less than 5 years, here are some good tips for you if you’re wanting a perfect marriage. JUST kidding. Those don’t exist, so if you truly believe you have one or are going to have one – you’re only setting yourself up for failure.

What I can give you, however, are some suggestions that will help strengthen your relationship between you and your spouse. None of this is from a book – all from my experience.

First of all, what I needed from my spouse right after we said our I Do’s has drastically changed over the years, but the constant has been this – knowing I had made a commitment to someone who was going to stay with me – no matter what. Lifetime guarantee – until death do us part. Believe me, I’ve tested that guarantee more times than I want to admit. 

Sounds old-fashioned? Who cares. It has been part of the glue that has kept us committed to not giving up on each other for over 34 years.

Tip #1: Don’t use your past as an excuse for your behavior. If you had a horrible upbringing, learn from it and don’t repeat it. My husband grew up in a loving home. His parents have been married now for more than 60 years. Mine was extremely dysfunctional. One parent was an alcoholic. They separated once, but never divorced. Other than when I was young, I never saw my parents act like they even liked each other. They yelled at each other when they needed to ‘work’ something out. Need I say more? So when I got married, I never expressed my feelings or my opinion. I never wanted to disagree. I was so afraid of failing, I did everything I could to be a perfect wife, but I was far from perfect. My behavior was unrealistic. The good thing was that I eventually started to let go and not let fear control me or my marriage. What a blessing.

Tip #2: Don’t compare your spouse to anyone else. Do you want them to compare you to someone?

Tip #3: When you talk about your spouse to others, make sure it’s something positive about him/her. You never know when it will come back to them. I recently had dinner with my husband and his co-workers. One of them told me that my husband talks about me every single day and how obvious it was that he loved me. I cannot begin to tell you what that did for me – and for us. It confirmed that he was my best friend, after all.

Tip #4: Surprise your spouse – not like every day! Even once a month… or sometime in your lifetime – preferably  before you’re dead. I recently had my wisdom teeth removed. You can only eat food like jello, soup, and whatever else you can find that you don’t have to chew. My husband has never cooked for me in our 34 years of marriage. He surprised me and made scrambled eggs for me. That was better than a dozen roses.

Tip #5: “He completes me!” No, no, NO! Don’t expect your spouse to make you feel complete. Maybe worth a million bucks, but not complete. Only God can do that.

Tip #6: Last, but not least, love your Lord with all your heart. He is the one that created you. He is the one that brought you together. The more I seek Him, the more I love my husband – vice versa.

Marriage is wonderful, but it is hard sometimes. But what a blessing it is when you can look back and see what you’ve overcome, enjoyed, and accomplished in life – together. 

 

 

 

 

Fall-ing in love with change

 

One thing that I’ve missed since we moved to Florida is the change in seasons. This one has always been my favorite. You never know what colors you’ll see.Here’s some of my favorites from the last few years when we lived in Indiana.

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Noblesville, IN ~ Taken by Teri Knapp

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Train tracks in Noblesville, IN. Photo taken by Teri Knapp.

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Photo taken in Forest Park – Noblesville, IN, by Teri Knapp

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Photo taken in Cicero, IN, by Teri Knapp

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Photo taken in Noblesville, IN by Teri Knapp

Worry

Is there something you are stressing out about today? Your kids? Finances? Your health? I think we all have something that adds about 100 plus pounds of pressure on our shoulders. Maybe that’s why I’ve been gaining weight? 😉 Couldn’t have been all those extra sweets I was stuffing in my mouth this week!

I had my last two wisdom teeth removed the other day, and I was extremely anxious about it. Way more than usual. It’s hard to completely trust an oral surgeon you don’t know even if he has the best bedside manner. I’m discovering that the older you get, the more you worry that something might go wrong.

When I was finally back in the chair and the IV was put in, I remember thinking that I could not wait until the lights went out. That’s my favorite part of any kind of surgery – mainly because those stressed out feelings come to a halt. Everything you are worrying about shuts off. Even better, with every surgery I’ve experienced, I got to wake up and find out that what I worried about didn’t happen.

Amazing to think what you put yourself through when you’re anxious about something. I guess we all have our way that comforts us temporarily. Wouldn’t it be the best thing ever if we could flip a switch and just shut those worries out?

I can’t help but think that God allows us to have those feelings to prepare us sometimes. What I’ve learned, though, through experience and His Word,  is that he wants us to trust Him – no matter what the outcome is. Do you trust Him?

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”

Proverbs 3:5-6

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Do you want a trophy or do you want the truth?

Don’t you just love it when you hear a conversation that doesn’t involve you, but it stays with you for a long time?  There were three eleven(ish) year old boys who were having  swimming races across the pool. One of the boys would pretty much throw a fit every time because he never won.

Before their last race, the boys were next to us in the water. They were getting ready to start when one of them turned towards the one who had been so upset and said, “Listen, we all lose sometimes. I lose sometimes, and it’s ok! Just don’t be mad. THIS time lets say that everyone wins, ok?”

When they reached the other side, I heard the boy who actually won say, “We’re ALL winners!” – but out of another, “Yes, we are! But Jake still got there first.”

We are living in a world that wants to give everyone a trophy so no one feels left out. I can understand that when the awards are given to  2, 3, or maybe 4-year-old children. It’s not suppose to be about winning or being the best at that age, but more about learning to follow rules, have fun!, exercise, work as a team, and just learn the game. But for kids who are much older, I think it’s misleading. It’s confusing for everyone.

Listen, I am the worst when it comes to worrying that someone (especially a child) is going to feel left out or develop low self-esteem. I just hope that the direction we are heading doesn’t affect how people see their sin, their faith, and eternity – because God’s Word never changes.

“for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Romans 3:23

“Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven will enter.” Matthew 7:21

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9

“His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your  master’s happiness!’ Matthew 25:23

 

 

You Were Born to Stand Out

It’s girls night out.

Mid afternoon you finally call your best friend to see what she’s wearing tonight because you have no idea what to wear. You don’t have a lot to choose from, but you don’t want to wear a dress when everyone else is wearing jeans. Or, you were thinking about wearing shorts, but you’re afraid that everyone else will be wearing a cute skirt or something else.

And what about the shoes? You have these new tennis shoes that you’re dying to wear. Even though they are the most comfortable shoes you have in your closet and your feet have been killing you, you’re worried that it might not be the right time or with the right crowd.

Isn’t amazing what we worry about? If other people could actually see all the things that we worry about that swirls around in our brain, they would probably be overwhelmed.

Hopefully your best friend would tell you to wear whatever you want – just be you, because that’s what she loves about you.

yellow duck

Be you – the person God created you to be.

 

 

It’s My Birthday – I Can Count If I Want To

Fifty-nine years ago today, a baby girl was born.

BABY

 

She was born to two people who were young and in love.

When she was little, she learned that you don’t always get what you want, like when her parents would slap her hands when she would reach for the hot stove. Her Heavenly Father would later teach her that everything she reaches for isn’t a good thing, but reminded her He would always be there to protect her.

TODDLER

Was her family perfect? Far from it. Was it dysfunctional? No doubt. But she learned from it and allowed it to help mold her into someone who loves and appreciates her imperfect family, imperfect friends, and her imperfect self.

God sprinkled friends throughout her life who helped teach her that God wasn’t some big, imaginary guy up in the sky. She learned that He created her, loved her, and he had a perfect plan – and her life would be good if  only she would remember to look beyond her circumstances and trust her creator.

 

 

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Neighborhood VBS

 

One day she went to college and met a wonderful guy. He wasn’t like anyone else she had dated. After a lot of talks about their faith, dreams and expectations, they tied the knot. Those early years were  good. They were exciting, but they were a bit scary – not knowing what the future held. One thing she learned was this: “Always strive to give your spouse the very best of yourself; not what’s left over after you have given your best to everyone else.” ~ Dave Willis

Mark in Utah

 

Two years later, her dreams came true when she was blessed with a son. She was so in awe when he was being delivered that she didn’t even ask if it was a boy or a girl. When she saw those ten toes, it didn’t matter.

Eleven months later, she found out she was  expecting another child, but sadly – the pregnancy ended early. It was a difficult season, but her faith brought her through it.

You can imagine how happy she was when she delivered another son – one year later. Knowing how it felt to lose one inside her, she knew not to take her children for granted.

Two years later, she had her third son.  She tried to embrace every moment with her children, but life became very busy.

travis was born3 boys3 boys being goofey

And in the blink of an eye..

boys grown up

 

After living in Indiana for 34 years, life took a twist and took her to another state. Away from family and her best friends.She was beyond grateful for her youngest son’s help during a time of transitions…

 

travis

Her oldest son married the girl of his dreams.

daniel and stacy

 

And then a few years later, this happened. Pop Pop, MeMe, and a beautiful granddaughter.

POP POP MEME

After moving far away, she discovered that she missed those lifelong friendships. Many memories were packed away, so not every friend and moment is shared – but will always be kept in her heart like a buried treasure.

 

 

She loved watching her middle son marry the girl of his dreams…

jared and felicity 2

 

and being together – even though it was for a short time.

FAMILY

 

59 and counting….

 

Stop What You’re Doing

If you’ve ever suffered physically in some way from the heat, then you will be able to relate to this experience. You will most likely remember your details like it was yesterday because it’s scary, a bit embarrassing, and a good reminder to be prepared when you’re out in 90 degree temps.

My husband and I like to walk together for exercise. It has been 100 degrees with the heat index here, so we decided to walk on the beach yesterday morning. Getting your feet wet in the ocean and having that sea-breeze makes it bearable.

I’m not sure how far we walked, maybe 3 miles. After we finished, we sat on our beach towels for a while before heading back to our car. It was a beautiful day, but it was sizzling hot. Did I mention that we didn’t bring water?

Walking up the steps from the beach to the cross walk, my heart began to pound and my legs started to feel weak. As soon as I made it across the street, I plopped down on the grass and put my head down between my knees. It. Was. Awful. I wasn’t sure if I was going to pass out or lose my breakfast. Maybe both.

My husband was ahead of me, not realizing what was going on. Goodness, I couldn’t even look up. When I told him I needed water, he grabbed my towel and ran to the water spigots where others were washing off the sand.

The coolness on the back of my neck was definitely a step in the right direction, but I needed more. I needed water.

As you can imagine on a beautiful, sunny day – there were lots of people walking by me – all heading for a fun day at the beach. It became obvious that the last thing they wanted to do was stop to see if there was something they could do. Maybe they were afraid to get involved. Or maybe they thought they weren’t their brother’s keeper.

So, this fisherman was walking our way. He was carrying all his fishing gear and a cooler. If you’re a fisherman, you know how much stuff he was lugging! Wouldn’t you know, he stopped and asked if I needed water. Thank you, God!, for people who are willing to help. I just needed one. I held out my hand.  After downing that water, I stayed put for a few minutes and was finally able to get up and walk to the car.

Listen, this story isn’t about me; it’s about the fisherman – someone who took the time to stop. My heart is overflowing with thankfulness for his act of kindness. I hope it inspires you to be like him, and not all the others who were too busy with life to stop.

 

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Matt. 4:19-20 And he said to them “Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.”  Immediately they left their nets and followed him. (Photo taken in Palm Beach, Florida)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

P.S. I Love You

 

I’m one of those people who tends to hold things in. I’ve worked on this lately – especially the past 6 or so years. I’m improving, but I still struggle with it.

There’s nothing worse than that moment when you feel those emotions surface when you least expect them to…. and then they explode all over the people around you. You don’t even see it coming. If you’re one of those type of people who are very good at expressing your feelings, you won’t understand. Believe me, it surprises me as much as it does the person who witnesses it!

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That moment when your emotions explode… Yes, this is what it feels like! (Pic taken in Cicero, IN)

So, that unexpected moment happened this weekend. It came at the worst time. Before I knew it – words that I regretted came out of my mouth. As you know, you can’t click a delete button and make it all disappear.

Why?

Here’s part of my story. My brother lives states away from me. He is seven years younger than I am, single, happy in so many ways, struggling, and is mentally challenged. Our parents are both gone, so I am the only family he has. When he needs money, I’m his go-to, not that I have a lot to give.

I don’t mind helping, but what hurts is that he only calls or sends text messages when he needs help. No “Hi, Teri! How are you?” It starts out with a hint:

HIS TEXT: 60 dollars is a lot of money. 

MINE: What do you mean? What for?

HIS: I need grocery money. 

MINE: When do you get paid?

HIS: 1 week. I don’t have any food.

HIS: I went to Alabama with a friend last week. It was fun!

MINE: Do you think that was a good idea since money is so tight?

HIS: But I didn’t drive.

MINE: (Crickets.)

This is when I want to go into parent mode and remind him that he doesn’t get paid when he takes a vacation, but I stopped doing so because it just doesn’t work with him. When I do, he gets angry, calls me names, and then blocks me from responding. Beyond frustrating.

He loves me and acts like life is good when he gets the answer he wants, but I’m the scum of the earth when I can’t. No exaggeration. I’ve had strangers call me because he has told them I won’t help – then gives them my number. Ugh!

When we went to church last night, something that was mentioned during worship made me think about how often I talk to God like my brother talks to me. Very humbling. I don’t call God names or block him, but my attitude and emotions reveal how selfish I can be when I don’t get the answer I want – when I want it.  Sometimes I go to him, asking and asking – forgetting to start my conversation by telling him how much I love him, adore him, and how grateful I am that I have him in my life. All of those things said are true, so why don’t I say them?

When’s the last time you told someone how much he or she means to you? Or, sent up a prayer, just to say I love you? Bonus: Without expecting anything in return.

As far as  keeping my emotions buried deal, I’m a work in progress. Aren’t we all? If you struggle with the same thing, don’t give up. Don’t use the excuse that you have to be strong. There isn’t a good excuse, really. Burying them just delays dealing with them.

P.S. I love you, but God loves you more.